It's been over a year since I've written here, kind of sad really...but with two small children I tend to now have thoughts in short bits and pieces primarily for the Facebook audience. I mean, a blog post with one sentence is really just a status update anyway. The past year at our home has been spent doing some serious downgrading in almost every area. It's amazing how much sacrifice needs to be made by giving up one income. I guess that's pretty much a BFD (big fat DUH) but you'd be surprised the things I didn't think about when deciding to have kids.
I had a decent income from my job, I made almost as much as my husband at the time when I went on "maternity leave" 2 months before The Queen was born. I had low fluid and was put on disability earlier than I had expected to leave. Even though I was planning to breastfeed indefinitely and my husband worked full time, I still was planning on "going back" to work. I'm still not sure what I meant by that. Looking back, I think I was just naive and living in the moment...and missing my job of 9 years.
Dropping almost HALF of your household income is a really big deal. A really big deal. I took a job waiting tables 2 days a week once she could wait until 2 or 3 for her afternoon nap, which had to be ME nursing her down. It was more just to get out of the house, I never really made more than $20-30 a shift except on holidays. I made it through almost 2 years there before I left on yet another "maternity leave" except I was honest this time and quit for good. I officially became a Stay At Home Mom, or as us regulars call it, SAHM. Despite other major pitfalls that happened to us throughout this time, the main reason for our financial demise was this lack of a second income. But the alternative? Pay another person to be with my children while I work to make money to PAY ANOTHER PERSON TO BE WITH MY CHILDREN! It didn't make sense to me. So here we are. Broke. So so very broke. I have amazing parents that I see on an almost daily basis that take the girls and I to lunch whenever they are around. I have an amazing set of in-laws that accommodate us whenever we invite ourselves over for dinner. So to say I'm blessed is an understatement. But still...bills need to be paid.
This leads me to my original thought (see why I never blog anymore? It would take HOURS just to get a single thought typed out!): our very serious downgrading. It has been incremental since having children, little things here and there...some ebay selling...dropping cable...no landline...trading in the new car for a used one, etc. But thinking back 10 years ago...WOW. Things have severely changed. I knew they would, which is why we did most of the stuff then. We knew once we had kids it would all change...we just didn't know quite how much. So, going back to the pre-kid days, here's my downgrading list of how money is/was spent. **Note: not all of these are "bad" downgrades, just different.
1) DINNER: Nieuport 17 on occasion----->a $10 pizza on occasion
2) DRINKS: 3-4 wine club memberships----->boxed Franzia wine (cheaper when you buy 4)
3) GROCERIES: Whole Foods----->Stater Bros. because they always have the cheapest meat
4) CLOTHES: Tommy Bahama----->the Vinted app and only if the item's $5
5) VACATION: Wynn in Las Vegas----->Porterville with my dad & the girls
6) ENTERTAINMENT: Disneyland passes----->watching Disneyland rides on YouTube
7) MAKEUP: Sephora shopping sprees----->Sephora free sample sprees
Hey, things happen. In this case, kids happened. I wouldn't change it for the world. I am still the same person on the inside, I've just had to drastically change who I am on the outside. Although I am still lucky to have a smaller physique, I weigh more NOW than I did when I gave BIRTH to either child. I used to be a much more fun person in general, now I'm kind of a bummer. I used to love dressing up, now I dread changing out of yoga pants. I'm not gonna lie: it sucks most of the time. Not the kid part, but the broke part. Ok, sometimes the kid part sucks too...that is just part of the deal. They shit on you and then they make you smile. Literally. It's all just part of life. An amazingly blessed, super crazy, awesome, stressful, confusing, loving, spectacular life.
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