Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Painting the Roses Red: My $39 day with The Queen

I started this blog a year and a half ago with the theme of falling down the rabbit hole that is motherhood. About the struggle to maintain my identity as a person while at the same time accepting that I am suddenly a completely different person. Motherhood is not something I would describe as "life-changing"...I would call it entering Wonderland, seeing your reflection in that looking glass that looks so familiar, but the surroundings are not the same. At all. You can try to find your way back home, but there's no point. There IS no way out, and just like in the story, ALL ways here belong to the Queen...the Queen being, of course, my child. I spend all day, everyday, trying to figure out ways to please her but by the end of the day it's "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!" or in my case "I'M NOT!" I still don't know where she got that one, but she says it every time she's upset with me for anything. All I know is it means I've failed her in some way and she won't let me get away with it. Today I started my day thinking I'd go about my way, forgetting that all ways are hers...

I decided to do something "selfish"...I decided to get tickets for the 80s Prom at House of Blues. I can count on one hand how many "dates" I have had with my husband since The Queen has been born, and none of them involved a concert/dancing/get goofy & dress up sort of night. Tickets online were $15 plus $10 in fees, so I figured I'd head down to HOB and buy tickets there for cheaper. The Queen and I were on our own today so we headed off in the direction of Disneyland to make a day of it. Red Flag #1: The thermometer in the car read 95 degrees. Hmmm, I might have to nix the Disneyland idea even though she already saw the Matterhorn from the freeway and knew exactly where we were heading. You can fool babies...NOT 2 year olds.

As I pull into the parking lot and reach for my phone to check the time, I realize I left my purse at home.I was sure to pack up the bag with water, wipers, sunscreen, but not the most vital accessory. Now before you groan in sympathy, before we left I had taken out my Disneyland pass and my ID and put them in my pocket for ease and I had my tips still in my pocket from yesterday. So you'd think with my pass, ID, and $40 I'd be ok. Well, not if we wanted to eat AND buy the tickets, which was the whole reason for going in the first place. Plus, I don't wear a watch so my phone is the only way of knowing what time our 3 hour parking runs out.

I thought I'd just go get the tickets then head back home for food. Well, with HOB's $5 fees, the tickets totaled $41. Yep, that's right, I was $1 short. This means I get to do this whole thing again tomorrow. Awesome. So now I had no tickets, heatstroke, and a fussy kid. At least I had $40 and could drive legally. We ate there at HOB and shared a pizza. Lunch was extremely pleasant, I got very lucky.

After lunch I thought maybe I could get off the hook with skipping Disneyland since all The Queen wanted to do was run around the fountain out front...until the server said "Have fun at Disneyland!" :( I let her run around the fountain for a long time, I was determined to make this fun anyway. But now I had no tickets, heatstroke, $20 and a red kid. (sunscreen only works so well on my little Irish potato) In a distraction/air conditioning finding mission, we went to Build-A-Bear. We've never been in there before and given the circumstances, I would have gone ahead and let her make a bear. If I had my credit card. So we wandered around through the accessories. Let me digress for a second to say WOW they have some awesome stuff. Where was this place when I was little? So I ended up talking her down from a stuffed motorcycle to a plush light saber that makes sounds. Yes, they have Star Wars costumes for the bears, complete with accessories. $7 and she was happy. Yay.

We started walking down towards the parking lot and she noticed we were headed in the "wrong" direction. Again, desperate for a distraction and some AC, we went to the Lego store. She had fun building Duplos and fighting the giant Lego Darth Vader with her light saber. We got a Woody Lego keychain and a building plate for her Duplos and headed off. The chanting begun "I'm not! I'm not home!" but just in time, the lady with the parrot was out in front of Rainforest Cafe so that gave her something to watch for a minute. When we walked away, the chanting got louder again. Oh! Rainforest must have fun things to look at! We went and checked out the aquarium and she laughed at the fish. Whew. But seriously, with the exception on ESPN Zone, this was the last stop. And she knew it. I think people in their hotel rooms could her the "I'M NOT!" the entire way to the car. I thought I was going to pass out from the heat by the time we made it to the car, and she was still screaming and yelling, all the while holding the goodies I'd bought for her. In the car...made it home by 2...nap time.

So here I sit in the disaster of my living room, too exhausted to clean, without my tickets, with $1 in my pocket. Hmmm, this day did me no good.And now The Queen is crying. I think I made my point.

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