"DRINK ME!"

When Alice saw the beautiful garden that the White Rabbit had escaped to, she longed to be there but the door was too small to fit through. She found a bottle with a label that said "DRINK ME" and when she did, she grew smaller and smaller until she could fit through the door...but alas, she had no key. It was back up on the table she could no longer reach. So she sat down and cried. I can definitely identify...

`Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. `But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, `to pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!'

Which leads me to today's thought: I am so torn between the "old" me and the "new" me, I have no room left for just "me"...


Things that used to relax me prior to having a child:

1. Laying on my bed with my disco ball spinning and listening to ABBA.
2. Going to Temecula for free wine at Callaway and Thornton wineries.
3. Vegas trips to sit in the room and laugh at eat other or play penny slots when we got bored.
4. Spending an afternoon at Barnes and Noble by myself just browsing.
5. Making a list of my favorite movie scenes and then watching them on DVD.
6. Stream-of-consciousness emailing with my best friend over late night cocktails.
7. Heading down to the spa and discussing our restaurant we're going to open someday.
8. Uploading CDs to iTunes and making random playlists.
9. Avila Lighthouse Suites: wine on the balcony and falling asleep to the softly crashing waves.
10. Walking over to Deva's for a pitcher of beer and Photo Hunt with my other half.

Things that relax me after having a child:

1. Drinking alcoholic beverages
2. Sleeping

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm exaggerating, but you get the point. The old list includes things that I just plain can't do anymore or can't afford anymore. I could give you a reason why each of them are no longer feasible, but then I'd just add cynicism to negativity.I love my child more than anything on the planet, I am not complaining or regretting motherhood. (that's my typical disclaimer to those that don't know me well enough to think otherwise) It's just why I struggle with my vices more and more. Hey, even Alice drank from a bottle that just said "DRINK ME." I mean, any bottle in my house has THAT label in my eyes...